Pardons for sale

 Donald,

How much does a pardon cost?

I think you have some pardon rules?

-Must be a MAGA

-You have to pledge to help me or have helped me, legally or illegally 

-Being rich helps

-Help my family make money

-Never ever in the future speak badly of me or my family

-Try really hard to not commit further crimes (this isn’t that important)

-Being attractive helps

-Promise to lie to protect me in the future 

-Tell me I am very smart and very handsome (this isn’t that pretty important)

-Agree with everything I say or do (even if you don’t, just don’t oppose anything I do or say)

So Donald how much does a pardon cost,

Sincerely